I thought about this quote a lot last night after I finished, and again this morning...
You know what, I kind of regretted it. I might be the first person to say I regretted a workout!!
When I started my workout I wasn't feeling fantastic, but I chalked it up to a desire to avoid exercise and forged ahead anyway. I gave Bonnie the talk, but Bonnie was feeling pretty ragged...and she wasn't responding well to my stern, directive tone.
I was STRUGGLING right from the get go. I felt SO fatigued, and I just couldn't get my mind off how uncomfortable everything felt. I was watching Parks and Recreation, which is such a captivating show usually, but even Ron Swanson couldn't get my mind off how miserable it all felt. Well, OK...when Ron said that the best way to motivate an employee is through the use of Money, Fear, and Hunger...I laughed my butt off (I'm in Human Resources, so I found it beyond hilarious) - and for a very brief moment I thought about something other than how horrible I felt. But it was fleeting
At the 30 minute mark I was dragging. My body hurt, my throat was dry, my sinuses hurt....it was ugly. It was at about this point that I started to have horrible stomach pains. GREAT! It seemed fitting since the workout was going so smooth...NOT!
My stomach was really, really bothering me and when I reached the 2.33 mile mark and I finally had to stop for a few minutes to take a restroom break.
When I came back downstairs I thought about stopping - about not getting back on the treadmill - but I was more than half way there, and I was pretty darn determined to finish. So I got back on. I had .8 miles left to go, and it felt like the longest .8 miles I have ever walked in my life! It was grueling. Seriously grueling. My stomach continued to cause me significant pain, I was hot and sweaty, at one point my knee started to hurt, and again with the dry throat and sinus issues.
MISERY.
I started to cry. I'm sure it was quite a sight - me on the treadmill, in the dark, crying (though not hysterically, thankfully) while I walked my final .8 miles. I wanted so badly to stop, but I was too close to finishing to let that happen...so I kept pushing, and eventually I finished. It was a miserable finish, but it was a finish nonetheless.
I have no idea how long it took me...but it felt like an eternity.
After I was done I limped my way upstairs to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed - and I cried. Cried because I didn't feel good. Cried because it was so hard, and I thought it should be getting easier. Cried because I hate that damn treadmill. It turned irrational...very irrational...I think you can sense that. I just cried, and cried, and cried.
My stomach sick the rest of the night. I had upsetting dreams. I woke up freezing cold several times. And when it was time to get up and get ready for work...I cried again.
UGH!
I finished that damn 5K last night, but I kind of regret it. And now I feel like I have PTSD about my 5K tonight. Every time I think about it I want to cry. Oh, I'll do it, mark my word, but I'm not going to like it. Not even a little bit.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE (Yes, there is one) - next week, exercising for just 30 minutes a day will feel like a cake walk!
Connie, I'm so impressed by your determination! I can't wait to see what your weigh-in is like!
ReplyDeleteWay to stick to it and not give up. My Zumba friends talked me into doing a Body Pump class which is basically an hour long weight lifting class to music with squats, lunges and pushups thrown in. I was doing ok until about half way through the class. I ended up finishing the class but I cried the last three songs. Luckily I was in the corner of the gym and facing a wall so no one really saw me. I just felt defeated. A trainer that was monitoring the class to make sure we were using proper form came up to me after class when I was getting my things and complimented me on finishing and said I impressed him. He said he saw the look on my face 3/4 of the way through and didn't know if I was going to finish it. Oh and the next day I could barely move but I was so proud that I finished. I am actually thinking of trying it again.... yes, I believe I am crazy!
ReplyDeleteHi Connie! Yes, I've been through what you're describing and it feels every bit as bad as you're saying. Take regular doses of Tylenol or Advil around the clock. Use heating pad(s)on your thighs. Very hot baths help. Sleep an extra half hour. It's going to keep being miserable for some time, but that is because your muscle cells are crying to you that they have never worked that hard. You want those muscle cells to cry because then you know that your exercise is really working!!!! They are shouting at you that you are really changing your lifestyle. And you are. Perhaps you should read my early blog posts about starting up exercise--you would really relate to them. :D
ReplyDelete:-) Marion
:-) Marion
I'm so very proud of your for staying with it thats true determination!! Sorry you didnt feel good last night but tonight will be better!
ReplyDeleteim glad you finished it, but ugh those workouts are the hardest. :(
ReplyDeletei love ron on parks and rec, when he went to lowes and the guy said can i help you, he says "i know more than you know" haha.