YES!

Last night before going to bed I had butterflies in my stomach - the eve of weigh in.

Weigh in eve is an ominous night in this household.  We teeter on the precipice of joy or sorrow - the entire mood of the weekend is determined by the three numbers that pop up on that scale (maybe I need to re-read my 'Power' post!!).

I was a nervous wreck thinking about it, hoping for the best, but dreading the worst.  I struggled to fall asleep and when I finally did I ended up dreaming about weigh in.  I dreamed I was trying desperately to weigh in, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept falling off the scale.  I moved the scale all over, trying to find a place where I could weigh in, but not matter where I tried I couldn't hold my balance and I would fall off.  Finally, I was able to prop myself up and hold myself steady enough to weigh in...the scale said 432 lbs.  I was distraught...and when I woke up I actually had tears running down my face.

Yes, I realize I seem to have serious psychological problems for which I need to seek help.

When I woke up with tears running down my face I thought two things 1) I am very strange and need help and 2) I better get this weigh in over.  So weigh in I did, and.......

419.8

A loss of 4.4 lbs. this week, a total of 10.2 lbs. lost.  

I was thrilled!

The mountain is a moving!

BELOW EXPECTATIONS

I did it. I weighed in this morning. My stomach was churning, literally, as I went to get on the scale. I even woke my husband up, announced I was going to weigh in and told him to hold my hand and prepare to comfort me, if needed.

I lost weight. So, that is good.

But I didn't lose as much weight as I thought I would, and that really bummed me out.

I won't lie, I expected to step on that scale and see some kind of Biggest Loser weight loss - double digits!! I mean, I do have 265 FREAKING LBS TO LOSE and double digits in my first week just seemed, well, a given. It wasn't.

In the end I lost 3.2 lbs. A respectable number for sure, but below my expectations.

I felt sad this morning - but more than anything I feel worried that this new PointsPlus program from Weight Watchers doesn't work as well as the old program. My mother in law, a Leader for Weight Watchers, assures me this is not the case. I am skeptical. But, I am not ready to give up and remain focused on taking things day by day.

DAY BY DAY. I have to keep saying it to myself. DAY BY DAY.

2/08/2012 - 426.8 - the first stone of the mountain moved (again). Here's hoping that I don't pack mule it back to the mountain as I have so many other times in the past.