STRESS, STRESS & MORE STRESS

Today is typically my weigh in day - and typically I am VERY diligent with weigh ins.

Today is going to be the exception. Today I refuse to weigh in.

This last week has been one of the most stressful that I have had in a very long time.

WORK STRESS, WORK STRESS, WORK STRESS and more WORK STRESS.

I started the week out celebrating my 11th anniversary AND a great weight loss.  The weekend was fantastic and relaxing.  Did I eat on plan - no.  BUT, I didn't eat horrible...and I was OK with that.  I thought that I would have the week to make up for it.

Monday came, and it was fairly normal - some stress due to things that had gone on the week before - but nothing crushing.  Same with Tuesday.  I tracked all my food and stayed within my points.

Then came Wednesday.

Wednesday brought a lot of stress - A LOT - it also brought a critical business dinner at a restaurant that didn't have the best of choices for dinner.  I made the best choice possible, and I came pretty close to staying within my points for the day.

Thursday - the stress continued - I fled the office for lunch, despite my commitment NOT to eat out (except for my anniversary) in March.  Again, I tried to make good choices - and I felt decent about it.  But the Cracken had been released.

Thursday Night - Eat out - Pizza Hut.  I felt so disgusting after that I seriously considered vomiting to make it go away.  It was so repulsive.

Friday Morning - Eat out.  IHOP.  I did make a good choice here - the Simple & Fit whole wheat french toast.  But, the ball was just rolling.

Friday Evening - Eat out.  Plum Alley.  Girls night out.  The restaurant was fabulous, but the food was definitely salty, salty, salty.  I can only imagine the amount of sodium I consumed.  And, as any professional dieter knows, sodium is the kiss of death for a weigh in.

In addition to all of the stress, I didn't sleep well AND I worked longer hours than normal. For me stress + no sleep + long hours at work + sodium, sodium, sodium = swelling, and A LOT of it.  On Friday night my ankles looked like like tree trunks.  They were swollen.  SO SWOLLEN!

When I woke up this morning I was still swollen (still am) AND I didn't feel well - both mentally and physically.

And that's when I knew.

I knew that there was no way in HELL that I was going to weigh in today.

Between the swelling and the significant number of times I ate out during the week, I knew that the result would be terrible.  And honestly, I just did not have the mental bandwidth to handle a poor weigh in.

I have to get back on track.

I have not worked out in TWO WEEKS!  My tracking has been really poor.  I have been eating out far too much.  And even though I not gone on a food binge, I just don't feel like my choices have been fantastic.  My head is not in the game.  And although stress is the reason I use to justify these things - the reality is that every single one of them makes my stress even worse, not better!

Even though I still feel horrible (besides the swelling I am battling a constant headache and a stomach that is in knots.  I am also completely exhausted - not tired - exhausted...and I've had a few irrational bouts of crying (damn the latest Disneyland commercial - I can't handle the emotional manipulation right now)) I have managed to pull together a fairly decent day food wise.  I tracked everything I ate AND I made good choices.

I don't want to make to keep making excuses.  I don't want to have reasons to make excuses.

This week has been bad.  The week before wasn't stellar.  I had choices in how I reacted to all that was going on and I need to own that.

I just need to get back on track.

This week is going to be better - even if there is stress - even if I feel exhausted.

I will get back on track.

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I did have some high points in a week filled with a lot of low points:

HUNGER GAMES!  Oh. My. Hell!  This movie far exceeded my expectations.  I loved every minute of it.  EVERY MINUTE.   If you saw Hunger Games, what did you think???  I hate to admit it, but I think Josh Hutcherson made me switch from Team Gale to Team Peeta!  IMPOSSIBLE!

GIRLS NIGHT OUT WITH THE SKINNY FRIENDS.  I had a fantastic night out with my dear skinny friends.  I was reluctant to go (as usual), but I was so glad that I did (thanks in no small part to a daily phone call reminding me that a birthday would be destroyed if I didn't go).  After reading my blog, one of my dear SF's called ahead to the restaurant where we ate to make sure that I wouldn't be battling booth or chair anxiety....it meant a lot to me that she did that - I mean A LOT.  I love them all dearly.

PEOPLE MAGAZINE.  This week People Magazine published an article about Stephanie Nielson of the Nienie Dialogues as her memoir is about to hit bookstores everywhere.  I started reading Stephanie's blog shortly after she was severely injured in an airplane crash in 2008.  Her story is a complete miracle and a constant source of inspiration to me - I am counting the days down until I can read her book.