I MADE IT!

First of all...I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of you.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the words of encouragement, the well wishes and the tough love!  I thought about it ALL day, and it has kept me going.

It hasn't been an easy day, but it hasn't been horrible either.

I had a very long work day, and I have to tell you, I think it was a blessing in disguise.  I was SO busy, and didn't get home until late...so I really didn't have any time to think about being hungry, or to entertain cravings, or just plain jump off the wagon and cheat like a crazy woman.

At 12:21PM today, I wrote the following:

It is 12:21, and I am officially back on the wagon.

Now, don't get me wrong - I fully realize this is a precarious situation and I could fall off at any minute.  BUT, I am taking it hour by hour.  

I will make it through this day.

At 9:31PM I am thrilled to write this...

I MADE IT!  

I tracked my points, I stayed within my allotment, I drank my water...I got back on the wagon.

Do I still feel precarious?   YES, yes I certainly do.  I ate out twice today.  Yes,  I made good choices, but eating out is a disaster waiting to happen for me.  I HAVE to get back to taking my lunch AND making dinner every single night.  I am just flirting with tragedy by going out to eat!

Do I feel motivated?  I won't lie, the fire isn't there yet.  I don't feel the inertia moving me forward, pushing and pulling me toward my final goal.  Right now, it is more like trudging through knee deep mud...it is hard to move forward, but staying in the mud feels gross and dirty, so moving forward is the only choice. A choice that is hard.  Moving through the mud takes an immense amount of effort...every step burns and hurts...but getting stuck and mired down in it, well, that feels worse...so forward I go.

Tomorrow is another day, another challenge.

I'll worry about that tomorrow!