Monday, November 4, 2013


Tonight I'm sitting here, thinking about all the time I've lost on my journey.  All the backtracking, reworking, falling down, getting back up, falling down again.  I wonder why I keep letting it happen?  Why I don't quite seem ready to commit, and change, and move forward.

In my quest for health and fitness, one thing I do know, is that I am constantly concerned about doing it all perfectly...

Eat Perfect.

Track Perfect.

Exercise Perfect.

Blog Perfect.

I leave no allowance for falling short, and of course I fall short daily.  Instead of being happy about what I accomplish, I focus on how and where I fall short.

I am my own worst enemy, without doubt.

It isn't just in this area of my life where this is a problem.  It invades everything I do.  And ultimately, rather than motivate or push me to strive for perfection, it actually makes me shut down, run away from it and hide.

My photography

Writing my personal memoirs

Throwing a birthday party for my children

I am so worried about it being perfect, and I put so much stress on myself because I don't want to be a disappointment to myself or anyone else, and it all becomes too much, and I feel like I'm drowning, so I shut down. I quit.

And because of it, I lose out.  Lose out on something that might not have been perfect, but still so much better than nothing!

And today, that's what I'm thinking about.  What does it look like to try to do this without being perfect, try to do anything, without trying to make it perfect?

Until I figure that out, I don't think I have a prayer.

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  1. Yay you're back. I commented on one of your pictures in your instagram. I too have struggled with this in the past and now my flaw is not to push myself too hard, not to get worried about the little things. Soooooooooo...I guess we should find a balance because apparently neither are working for us. Good luck :)

  2. Nobody is perfect. And really, nobody is expecting you to be perfect, either. You can work hard at being a great mom, wife, coworker, but really, you have to work hard at yourself too. If you let yourself down, it will only feel like everything else around you is getting let down too.
    Its really not a race. We have our whole lives to be who we want to be. Just start today, don't look back and don't think of it as a diet, this will only cause failure faster. As much as I hate the term "lifestyle change", that's really what it is. Just eating less and working out a bit more. Its all about moderation and determination... and I know you have both in you! :-)

  3. Hi Connie, Well, maybe you need a weight loss group. Leigh and I have suggested this other times too, but many of us need additional help to train ourselves to lose weight and keep it off. Personally, I needed help with both fitness and weight loss. It's very hard to do it by yourself. It's not just about eating, it's also about being assertive, changing your viewpoint, going against the grain of others, setting yourself in higher priority, understanding that tiny actions matter most, and daily sacrifice for a greater cause. It involves a lifestyle change in an incredibly huge way. You see the writing on the wall--it's up to you to stay the same or do it differently. Whatever you choose, you are a good person already. :D

  4. I love Marion's suggestion! Over Eaters Anonymous, TOPS, both good resources for support. Perfection is over rated my dear. How boring would the world be if we were all perfect. Don't measure your success on how others have succeeded. You need to write your own recipe for success and that may include having good days, bad days and a whole lot of crap thrown in for good measure. It may not seem like it, but you are progressing because you are recognizing really important behaviors that hinder you. That is progression. I'm glad you're back and I hope to be reading you frequently again.

  5. Hi Connie! I just came across your blog post, and feel like I am in the SAME boat in many ways! I just wanted to send you a word of encouragement and remind us both that WE CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THIS! I have no answers, only encouragement (which a person can NEVER get enough of). Remember you are awesome!