Tonight I'm sitting here, thinking about all the time I've lost on my journey. All the backtracking, reworking, falling down, getting back up, falling down again. I wonder why I keep letting it happen? Why I don't quite seem ready to commit, and change, and move forward.
In my quest for health and fitness, one thing I do know, is that I am constantly concerned about doing it all perfectly...
I leave no allowance for falling short, and of course I fall short daily. Instead of being happy about what I accomplish, I focus on how and where I fall short.
I am my own worst enemy, without doubt.
It isn't just in this area of my life where this is a problem. It invades everything I do. And ultimately, rather than motivate or push me to strive for perfection, it actually makes me shut down, run away from it and hide.
Writing my personal memoirs
Throwing a birthday party for my children
I am so worried about it being perfect, and I put so much stress on myself because I don't want to be a disappointment to myself or anyone else, and it all becomes too much, and I feel like I'm drowning, so I shut down. I quit.
And because of it, I lose out. Lose out on something that might not have been perfect, but still so much better than nothing!
And today, that's what I'm thinking about. What does it look like to try to do this without being perfect, try to do anything, without trying to make it perfect?
Until I figure that out, I don't think I have a prayer.