I still find myself struggling at night - I am a night time snacker and it is when I struggle the very most to stay on track. I just want to put food in my mouth at night - salty, savory, sweet - it really doesn't matter. In the mornings I am busy getting myself, my girls and my husband ready for work and school. When I get to work I am BUSY most of the day and I rarely think about snacking. BUT, when I get home at night and start cooking dinner, and then trying to unwind - well, the desire to comfort eat and snack hits pretty hard.
As I write this post I am consuming sugar free jello with a little cool whip lite on top to curb my current desire to chow down. And I guess that is the tactic I am using to deal with my desire to eat at night...I am identifying low calorie snacks to carry me through. So far I have come up with:
Sugar snap peas
Sugar free jello
Baby peppers w/ hummus
94% fat free popcorn
It is working, thank goodness. Ultimately, though, I want to do away with eating after a certain time at night for a whole host of reasons - weight loss being fairly low on the list. But right now, I don't think its the time. I am trying to be kind to myself and not over do it while I get back in the swing of things. And right now, making a menu, being prepared, journaling my food intake, and staying within my calorie range are about all my world can handle.
There have been a couple of posts lately on other blogs that have really resonated with me and helped me feel not quite so alone and isolated on this journey. Realistically I know there are millions of people out there trying to get fit and get healthy - so I'm definitely not alone. I have met so many wonderful people through this blog and other blogs, have received such nice comments and words of encouragement...but strangely, at times I just can't help but feel lonely and singled out because I HAVE to go on this journey - not going on the journey isn't really an option. It helps knowing there are others out there feeling exactly like I do right this minute. Here are a couple of the posts that have helped me recently:
I read a post by Katie at Runs for Cookies the other day where she said the following:
Sometimes I just get so sick of having to measure out everything I eat. I know that I have to do it (I've tried "mindful eating" lots of times, and it just causes me to binge). Through tons of trial and error, I know that measuring and counting (whether it's PointsPlus or calories) is the best way for ME to maintain/lose weight. But sometimes I just get fed up with it, and wish I could eat like a "normal" person. Anyway, I know my weight will be up tomorrow, but I also know if I get right back to measuring and counting, it'll come right back off.
YES! YES! YES! I feel exactly the same. Knowing that this is FOREVER, and that every day will be a day I have to focus on this for the rest of my life - well, sometimes that just plain overwhelms me!!
I also read a great post by Marion at Affection for Fitness that she just posted tonight. She has had a tough couple of days and she blogged about that...but what I really liked is that rather than focus on the difficulties, she focused on what she was doing to get herself through. Here was my favorite part:
To be clear to you and myself, I am a food addict. Some part of me has absolutely no problem overeating quite a bit on any given day. And that trait is going to be with me for the rest of my life. And I wish it would go away, but I concretely know that it won't. It doesn't help my confidence to know this vulnerability.
It is on these types of days that it bothers me to know that my health situation is constantly dynamic. I can never rest and forget about it because we keep our health, fitness, and weight by working on it on a daily basis. Yes, daily upkeep is required.I think hearing it stated so clearly, and so directly is refreshing.
I will be heading to the office early, which bums me out...BUT, it is Friday, so I will rejoice in that!!
Tomorrow is another day on the journey. I feel ready for it.