Moving this mountain is proving much harder than I hoped.
On February 1, 2012 I felt such commitment, such motivation - I had no doubt I would conquer.
Today, April 27, 2012, I find myself climbing up, then sliding down, then climbing up, and sliding down....over and over and over again. It is exhausting - mentally, physically and spiritually.
The ups and downs are taking their toll.
Right now, every night that I am unsuccessful in achieving my goals, I go to bed disappointed...disappointed in myself for the choices I have made, disappointed that my resolve has dissipated so quickly...disappointed that I am letting others down...just down right disappointed.
Constant disappointment is a burden. A heavy burden. A burden human beings are not meant to carry. We are not made to live in a state of constant disappointment...we just aren't.
Tonight I realized that I have a choice to make...to move forward, with a laser like focus on my goal, or to climb down, accept where I am at and allow things to settle.
Climb up, or climb down.
Like it or not, I know what I will choose....
I know where I stand...
I know which way I will climb.