Friday, April 27, 2012


Moving this mountain is proving much harder than I hoped.

On February 1, 2012 I felt such commitment, such motivation - I had no doubt I would conquer.

Today, April 27, 2012, I find myself climbing up, then sliding down, then climbing up, and sliding down....over and over and over again.  It is exhausting - mentally, physically and spiritually.

The ups and downs are taking their toll.

Right now, every night that I am unsuccessful in achieving my goals, I go to bed disappointed...disappointed in myself for the choices I have made, disappointed that my resolve has dissipated so quickly...disappointed that I am letting others down...just down right disappointed.

Constant disappointment is a burden.  A heavy burden.  A burden human beings are not meant to carry.  We are not made to live in a state of constant disappointment...we just aren't.

Tonight I realized that I have a choice to move forward, with a laser like focus on my goal, or to climb down, accept where I am at and allow things to settle.

Climb up, or climb down.

Like it or not, I know what I will choose....

I know where I stand...

I know which way I will climb.


  1. It is exhausting, and you are not alone at all in facing this battle. Do not let the disappointment weigh you down. You are strong enough to get through this. Just take it one step at a time. You can do this!

  2. Hi Sweetie.  I agree!  This can be an exhausting, frustrating, roller-coaster of a journey...but, don't let it discourage you.  Try to make small achievable goals and just take it one day at a time.  Keep it going!

  3. Losing weight is a disheartening adventure, for sure.  I would suggest that as the other gals have said...take it one day at a time.  If you have a bad day, instead of getting discouraged just tell yourself how easy it will be to be better tomorrow than you were today!  Also, if you are just worn out and ready to give up altogether, give yourself a week to not think about it.  Say to yourself, "Next Monday I'll start again, but this week I'm not going to diet."  That way, you can give yourself an emotional break and not lose too much ground.  In a week you can address the issue again and psych yourself up to be re-committed.  I look at losing weight like looking for a job.  What else can be so disheartening and hard on your self-esteem?  But if you keep beating the bush, you'll find something great.  Sometimes it only takes a few weeks, but usually it's a long, arduous process.  Sometimes you need to give yourself a week off from job searching too.  But then you start again and in the end you will accomplish your goals.

    I love reading your posts each week Connie.  You are a strong and powerful woman.  You are uniquely you.  Being a certain weight doesn't change that.  But if you want to be a healthier you, you can absolutely accomplish anything you set your mind to.  Go girl!  Take the world by the horns and be whatever you choose to be!!!

  4. Adina, you are so Awesome!  Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.  I am realizing that I have to give myself some room to breath on this journey - because it is going to be a long one.  I can't torture myself and feel discouraged with every little set back and disappointment for the next 2 years!  I will end up driving myself crazy!

    Thank you for reading my blog, but more importantly, for supporting me and believing in me!

  5. It really can be overwhelming!  I start to shut down when I get frustrated - and that certainly doesn't help the situation at all!  I agree that I have to break this down into smaller goals - and celebrate when I reach them.  I also have to quit beating myself up for every set back I have! 

     I am going to keep going!  It sounds like you are making some great progress on your health and fitness journey right now!  SERIOUSLY, that gives me such hope!  Keep up the good work!

  6. Thank you!  I'm ready to get back on track and do what I know I should!