So....I decided to go with it.
Rather than have Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast, I opted for a Weight Loss shake and a banana. I walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes. I tracked all my food for the day. I engaged in fun, active activities with my kids - JUST DANCE 4 - KILLER WORK OUT! You BET I logged JD4 time as part of my workout!!!
Was it a perfect day, no. It wasn't. I don't expect I will have too many of those. BUT, it was a good day. AND for the first time in a very long time I felt good. I felt like I accomplished something. I felt like I might actually get there. I saw myself on a cruise - lean and healthy and able to participate in a whole different way. I saw myself running on the treadmill and really pushing my body. It was weird. These thoughts were just popping into my head, and I knew I could do it.
As always, I know there will be a day that this glimmer, this hope and motivation, will fade and I will NOT feel like pushing forward. I still have to figure out what to do when that moment hits - because it has definitely derailed me many, many, many times. BUT, I am not going to let that get me down - I refuse to focus on past failures right now. Today I am going to let the glimmer take over and push me forward - and I am going to celebrate what is going right! And here is a list of what really IS going right...
- In January, I gave up Coke and all soda - again. It was hard, and I once again realized that soda is my Kryptonite. I CANNOT drink soda. It does me in...and Coke, well forget about it. I am an addict and once I start drinking that stuff all my bad habits creep back in. I have to face the fact that for me there will be no moderation where drinking soda and especially Coke is concerned. I just have to bid it farewell - FOREVER. I am 3 weeks into forever!!
- January 27, 2013 - I tracked what I ate. I worked out - 50 minutes!! (yes, that includes my crazy Just Dance 4). I made a delicious dinner that I was proud of (Quick Paella - damn, those shrimp were so good - and I don't even like shrimp).
- My house is mostly clean. My family is pulling together to keep it that way. I feel so happy when I walk in I don't even know what to do with myself!
- We are having more and more family activity time...and I love it. There is such a noticeable difference in how we behave and act with each other when we just take the time to play and have fun with each other.
I am focusing on the positive, and trying my best to banish the negative.
It feels good.