Saturday, March 24, 2012


Today is typically my weigh in day - and typically I am VERY diligent with weigh ins.

Today is going to be the exception. Today I refuse to weigh in.

This last week has been one of the most stressful that I have had in a very long time.


I started the week out celebrating my 11th anniversary AND a great weight loss.  The weekend was fantastic and relaxing.  Did I eat on plan - no.  BUT, I didn't eat horrible...and I was OK with that.  I thought that I would have the week to make up for it.

Monday came, and it was fairly normal - some stress due to things that had gone on the week before - but nothing crushing.  Same with Tuesday.  I tracked all my food and stayed within my points.

Then came Wednesday.

Wednesday brought a lot of stress - A LOT - it also brought a critical business dinner at a restaurant that didn't have the best of choices for dinner.  I made the best choice possible, and I came pretty close to staying within my points for the day.

Thursday - the stress continued - I fled the office for lunch, despite my commitment NOT to eat out (except for my anniversary) in March.  Again, I tried to make good choices - and I felt decent about it.  But the Cracken had been released.

Thursday Night - Eat out - Pizza Hut.  I felt so disgusting after that I seriously considered vomiting to make it go away.  It was so repulsive.

Friday Morning - Eat out.  IHOP.  I did make a good choice here - the Simple & Fit whole wheat french toast.  But, the ball was just rolling.

Friday Evening - Eat out.  Plum Alley.  Girls night out.  The restaurant was fabulous, but the food was definitely salty, salty, salty.  I can only imagine the amount of sodium I consumed.  And, as any professional dieter knows, sodium is the kiss of death for a weigh in.

In addition to all of the stress, I didn't sleep well AND I worked longer hours than normal. For me stress + no sleep + long hours at work + sodium, sodium, sodium = swelling, and A LOT of it.  On Friday night my ankles looked like like tree trunks.  They were swollen.  SO SWOLLEN!

When I woke up this morning I was still swollen (still am) AND I didn't feel well - both mentally and physically.

And that's when I knew.

I knew that there was no way in HELL that I was going to weigh in today.

Between the swelling and the significant number of times I ate out during the week, I knew that the result would be terrible.  And honestly, I just did not have the mental bandwidth to handle a poor weigh in.

I have to get back on track.

I have not worked out in TWO WEEKS!  My tracking has been really poor.  I have been eating out far too much.  And even though I not gone on a food binge, I just don't feel like my choices have been fantastic.  My head is not in the game.  And although stress is the reason I use to justify these things - the reality is that every single one of them makes my stress even worse, not better!

Even though I still feel horrible (besides the swelling I am battling a constant headache and a stomach that is in knots.  I am also completely exhausted - not tired - exhausted...and I've had a few irrational bouts of crying (damn the latest Disneyland commercial - I can't handle the emotional manipulation right now)) I have managed to pull together a fairly decent day food wise.  I tracked everything I ate AND I made good choices.

I don't want to make to keep making excuses.  I don't want to have reasons to make excuses.

This week has been bad.  The week before wasn't stellar.  I had choices in how I reacted to all that was going on and I need to own that.

I just need to get back on track.

This week is going to be better - even if there is stress - even if I feel exhausted.

I will get back on track.

I did have some high points in a week filled with a lot of low points:

HUNGER GAMES!  Oh. My. Hell!  This movie far exceeded my expectations.  I loved every minute of it.  EVERY MINUTE.   If you saw Hunger Games, what did you think???  I hate to admit it, but I think Josh Hutcherson made me switch from Team Gale to Team Peeta!  IMPOSSIBLE!

GIRLS NIGHT OUT WITH THE SKINNY FRIENDS.  I had a fantastic night out with my dear skinny friends.  I was reluctant to go (as usual), but I was so glad that I did (thanks in no small part to a daily phone call reminding me that a birthday would be destroyed if I didn't go).  After reading my blog, one of my dear SF's called ahead to the restaurant where we ate to make sure that I wouldn't be battling booth or chair meant a lot to me that she did that - I mean A LOT.  I love them all dearly.

PEOPLE MAGAZINE.  This week People Magazine published an article about Stephanie Nielson of the Nienie Dialogues as her memoir is about to hit bookstores everywhere.  I started reading Stephanie's blog shortly after she was severely injured in an airplane crash in 2008.  Her story is a complete miracle and a constant source of inspiration to me - I am counting the days down until I can read her book.


  1. I love that blog too.  I know how tough it is to get back on track but honestly it sounds like you've been making some pretty touch choices in spite of difficult situations .hang in there!!

  2. I know just how you feel!!! I had one indulgence snowball into the rest of the week being filled with indulgences. I too had the thought of just making myself puke up what I ate because I felt horrible both physically and emotionally. WE CAN AND WILL DO THIS...WE WILL GET BACK ON TRACK!!!  : )

    I'm guessing that you have read The Hunger Games trilogy if you were on "Team Gale"...FYI...I'm Team Peeta from the start. ; ) I'm kind of surprised that the movie "exceeded" your expectations? It fell WAY short of mine. I went to the midnight showing with some friends...and there is an excitement in that, that sometimes makes me overlook some things while watching. I'm going to see it again tomorrow night with my husband (I got him to read the books and he loved them) and I will then make my final decision...but right now...I'd say I was really disappointed.

    Do you have a facebook account? Just curious...if you do, you know my could friend me. ; ) I'll leave that up to you. I am part of a small group (5 ladies) who are looking to lose weight...we met on a baby website and we all are from the same "due date club" but that is by no means a prerequisite. We are just there for each other for support and to vent to about our journey. If your interested you can 'friend' me and then I can 'invite' you to the group. I think you'd fit right in with us and also give us some (more) needed inspiration.

  3. You really should weigh-in even when you haven't had a good week.  Maybe the possible gain (or not) will be just what you need to get you back on track.  Once you miss one weigh-in, you may miss the next, and then it could spiral.  Today is a new day and a fresh start, but you owe it to yourself to see where you're starting from.  This journey is going to be full of ups and downs.  You still need to be accountable to yourself when you have a bad week.  I know you want this Connie and I feel your determination.  Don't give up on your diligence.  You're too important:)

  4. Leigh,  such a good reminder or how important these things are..  THANK YOU!  I am gong to weigh in this morning.  I am not going to like it, but I am going to do it.  It will be at the forefront of my mind all week if I don't.  And you are so right, once I start missing weigh ins it just goes downhill from there.

  5. I also think that it's important to weigh in on schedule because embrassing a new way of life means keeping a scheudle and facing the music whether it be good news or bad news.  In my battle with weight, the hardest change to make was the way I reacted to slip ups.  In the past, if I "fell of the wagon" I would use that as an excue to remain off the wagon for the rest of the day or week, month., etc.  In essence, I was giving myself permission to fail. When I decidced to make a life style change, I accepted that I wasn't perfect and since I was human I would make mistakes or have lapses in judgement in the choices I made.  I also accepted that I am a person of worth and that I deserve to be happy.  Now, when I slip, I can acknowledge the slip and finish the rest of the day back on track.  I'm not saying that I'm perfect in response but knowing that I will be accountable each weekwithout fail helps.  Connie, you can do it and you're worth it!

  6. I know just what you mean and I'm there with ya. For me, what was good about the week: ummm.... very healthy breakfasts. Kashi Go Lean, lots of fruits, whole wheat toast, hard boiled eggs, skim milk. But then it all goes downhill from there with too much stress (work and personal), too little sleep, and I even caved to a craving with some cheesecake. BUT...great workout this morning, which was also my third in the last 7 days. One day at a time sistah! 

  7. Just found your blog! Sounds like you did have a tough week! Start today, to get back on track. You can do it!!

    Keep focused!

  8. John, sounds like you are on your own journey!  I tried Kashi go lean...I just couldn't do it...give me cookie crisp or give me death!  You know what I hate about stress eating?? It just makes me more stressed out!!  It is a vicious cycle and it doesn't help me feel better at all!  Hang in there my friend! 

  9. James, I did it.  I weighed in.  I was wasn't a number I wanted to see pop up! But, I agree that I needed to do it.  Once I let myself off the hook, it becomes so easy to make excuses each week!  I made it through today...FINALLY!  I am starting to feel a little more focused...getting my head back in the game!  I know when this journey comes to an end, I will look back and be so glad that I had great friends encouraging me along the way!!

  10. Ernie, I went into the Hunger Games expecting Twilight-ish movie making.  I was SO THRILLED when it was so much better than ANY of the Twilight movies!  Yes, there was a lot of the book they had to leave out, but I didn't mind.  The parts they chose to show were so well done and because I knew the details from the book, I was just filling them in as it went along.  One of my favorite parts...when little Prim's name is called and she is standing there in shock and all of the other kids start to move away from her and when she finally turns to walk up to the podium she tucks her little "duck tail" in.  I lost it...totally lost it!

  11. Holly, it feels like I have been hanging by a thread...but today I got a little momentum back!  THANK GOODNESS!  I need a few good weeks under my belt (or even a few good months) before I have another slip up!

  12. If you wait for perfect  conditions, you will never get anything done.  I have to keep telling myself this because starting a diet next week will never work.  I am so proud what you are working through all of this.  You are an inspiration.  It is great to see you learn and grow.  I am doing a little learning and growing with you as well.