Today is typically my weigh in day - and typically I am VERY diligent with weigh ins.
Today is going to be the exception. Today I refuse to weigh in.
This last week has been one of the most stressful that I have had in a very long time.
WORK STRESS, WORK STRESS, WORK STRESS and more WORK STRESS.
I started the week out celebrating my 11th anniversary AND a great weight loss. The weekend was fantastic and relaxing. Did I eat on plan - no. BUT, I didn't eat horrible...and I was OK with that. I thought that I would have the week to make up for it.
Monday came, and it was fairly normal - some stress due to things that had gone on the week before - but nothing crushing. Same with Tuesday. I tracked all my food and stayed within my points.
Then came Wednesday.
Wednesday brought a lot of stress - A LOT - it also brought a critical business dinner at a restaurant that didn't have the best of choices for dinner. I made the best choice possible, and I came pretty close to staying within my points for the day.
Thursday - the stress continued - I fled the office for lunch, despite my commitment NOT to eat out (except for my anniversary) in March. Again, I tried to make good choices - and I felt decent about it. But the Cracken had been released.
Thursday Night - Eat out - Pizza Hut. I felt so disgusting after that I seriously considered vomiting to make it go away. It was so repulsive.
Friday Morning - Eat out. IHOP. I did make a good choice here - the Simple & Fit whole wheat french toast. But, the ball was just rolling.
Friday Evening - Eat out. Plum Alley. Girls night out. The restaurant was fabulous, but the food was definitely salty, salty, salty. I can only imagine the amount of sodium I consumed. And, as any professional dieter knows, sodium is the kiss of death for a weigh in.
In addition to all of the stress, I didn't sleep well AND I worked longer hours than normal. For me stress + no sleep + long hours at work + sodium, sodium, sodium = swelling, and A LOT of it. On Friday night my ankles looked like like tree trunks. They were swollen. SO SWOLLEN!
When I woke up this morning I was still swollen (still am) AND I didn't feel well - both mentally and physically.
And that's when I knew.
I knew that there was no way in HELL that I was going to weigh in today.
Between the swelling and the significant number of times I ate out during the week, I knew that the result would be terrible. And honestly, I just did not have the mental bandwidth to handle a poor weigh in.
I have to get back on track.
I have not worked out in TWO WEEKS! My tracking has been really poor. I have been eating out far too much. And even though I not gone on a food binge, I just don't feel like my choices have been fantastic. My head is not in the game. And although stress is the reason I use to justify these things - the reality is that every single one of them makes my stress even worse, not better!
Even though I still feel horrible (besides the swelling I am battling a constant headache and a stomach that is in knots. I am also completely exhausted - not tired - exhausted...and I've had a few irrational bouts of crying (damn the latest Disneyland commercial - I can't handle the emotional manipulation right now)) I have managed to pull together a fairly decent day food wise. I tracked everything I ate AND I made good choices.
I don't want to make to keep making excuses. I don't want to have reasons to make excuses.
This week has been bad. The week before wasn't stellar. I had choices in how I reacted to all that was going on and I need to own that.
I just need to get back on track.
This week is going to be better - even if there is stress - even if I feel exhausted.
I will get back on track.
I did have some high points in a week filled with a lot of low points:
HUNGER GAMES! Oh. My. Hell! This movie far exceeded my expectations. I loved every minute of it. EVERY MINUTE. If you saw Hunger Games, what did you think??? I hate to admit it, but I think Josh Hutcherson made me switch from Team Gale to Team Peeta! IMPOSSIBLE!
GIRLS NIGHT OUT WITH THE SKINNY FRIENDS. I had a fantastic night out with my dear skinny friends. I was reluctant to go (as usual), but I was so glad that I did (thanks in no small part to a daily phone call reminding me that a birthday would be destroyed if I didn't go). After reading my blog, one of my dear SF's called ahead to the restaurant where we ate to make sure that I wouldn't be battling booth or chair anxiety....it meant a lot to me that she did that - I mean A LOT. I love them all dearly.
PEOPLE MAGAZINE. This week People Magazine published an article about Stephanie Nielson of the Nienie Dialogues as her memoir is about to hit bookstores everywhere. I started reading Stephanie's blog shortly after she was severely injured in an airplane crash in 2008. Her story is a complete miracle and a constant source of inspiration to me - I am counting the days down until I can read her book.