Wednesday, March 7, 2012

TRYING

I have been trying a lot of new things this week...

...a new approach to my Weight Watchers program (which hopefully pans out for me -FINGERS CROSSED)
...a consistent work out regimen - scheduled into my day!!  Today I actually looked forward to working out!
...swimming laps (gently)- AFTER walking on the treadmill for 40 minutes (It felt so good, I am CRAVING, yes CRAVING time to do it again).
...new light recipes...tonight I made Balsamic Mushroom Chicken.  It was TO. DIE. FOR!  I mean SERIOUSLY - TO. DIE. FOR!!  I also made a knock off Cafe Rio salad earlier in the week!  It was FANTASTIC!  I may never eat another real Cafe Rio salad in my life!
...taking leftovers for lunch - and loving them!  LOVING THEM.

I am loving the creativity.  I am loving NOT sitting on my butt every night watching TV.  I am loving NOT making excuses as to why I can't do these things.  You know the ones...

"I'm too exhausted after a long day at work to work out"
"I can't cook.  I'm really bad at it"
"It's just easier to eat out - I am a working mom after all - it:s the break I DESERVE to give myself"

I am LOVING how I feel.

I know the scale hasn't been moving.  And yes, that is super depressing for a few hours after weigh in.  SUPER DEPRESSING.  But the way I feel right now makes up for it.  And frankly, even if I never lose another pound (OK, I do really want to lose weight...I REALLY DO) I am so happy with the way I feel, it will still be worth the effort.

The other night I went walking with a friend in the neighborhood.  We chatted and walked and chatted some more.  It was GREAT.  At one point we started talking about bad, overeating habits.  About eating until you are SO FULL that honestly, it makes you physically ill.  Some of you have probably felt that way occasionally, but up until about a month ago I used to feel that way daily.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

In that moment I was OVERCOME with emotion when I realized that I had not felt that way in over a month.  It moved me to tears (very quiet ones so my walking partner wouldn't catch me crying like a baby).

...tears because I really am making progress and in that moment I realized it.
...tears because for so long eating like that and feeling like that was a part of my every day life.
...tears because I felt hope - hope that I would not go back there - that I had a choice in the matter.

It was a moment that I desperately needed.  To remind me that this journey is not just about losing weight - it is about changing a life.

And it's happening.  My life is changing.  And I feel happy about it.  I feel empowered. I feel strong.  I feel like no matter what  I WILL NOT STOP TRYING!

A whole new world is opening up to me.  I can't wait to keep trying it out!



3 comments:

  1. I am so happy for you that everything is clicking mentally! I really need to that to happen. Yesterday was horrible. I completely fell off the 'diet wagon'. I haven't seen any NEW weight loss in a month, so I haven't met my 2nd mini-goal of losing 20 lbs. in 2 months. I also feel like I have no support...I tried doing this blog thing and I must be boring or depressing because no one is commenting and those in my life who said they'd help me by checking in with me...haven't.

    So, I hope sometime soon I get that 'AHA' moment that it seems like everyone who loses a large amount of weight has. I want to be commenting on your blog a year from now about what a whiner I was and how hot we both look! : )

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  2. Erin,

    It has taken me A LONG time to get this point...and honestly, I am terrified that I will slip back into old habits.  I have so many times before. 

    Even though you haven't met your mini goal, you still have made positive changes.  I think being aware, talking about it, and making an effort is half the battle.  All of which you are doing.  

    I read every new post on your blog.  I am with you on this journey and here to support you whenever you need it!  I may not always be the most sane weight loss friend, but hey, that means I can understand when you are having your less than sane moments too!

    Hang in there!  And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  I'm glad you celebrated and enjoyed your day!

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  3. You have the absolute right attitude.  It's not always about the number on the scale, but about the changes we make in our day to day life.  Keep it up and you will meet your health goals:)  Good luck!

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