There are days, like today, when all I want to do is drive to the local McDonald's and down a fattening, greasy, bad for me Big Mac, or Quarter Pounder with a SUPER SIZED fry, Coke, Shake...I could go on and on.
Bottom line, I want to eat to drown my sorrows...eat to make the irritation and frustration I feel today go away.
MY DESIRE TO EMOTIONALLY EAT TONIGHT IS OVERWHELMING!
Do I know what the trigger is - definitely - knowing what the trigger is almost makes it worse because there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it...and that frustrates me more than anything else.
I feel trapped.
I feel like I don't have choices.
And that, that makes me feel CRAZY...
...and then all I want is to eat something. Something that, for me, will make it feel all better - if only for a few minutes.
SOMETHING LIKE MCDONALD'S!
Right now, those few minutes of relief sound like bliss - bliss in a cardboard box!
BUT...I have resisted the urge.
Instead, I am living it up with a huge Diet Pepsi and some Quaker Quakes: Sweet Chili. It isn't a hamburger or fries, but it is keeping me from going insane AND keeping me in my calorie range today.
Really, I should have turned to exercise to deal with my frustration - but seriously, tonight, the thought of rolling over to the swimming pool and hauling my ample frame up and down its length held no appeal for me...NONE AT ALL. That probably means I REALLY needed to go tonight - but I didn't.
And you know what, right now I don't care. I DON'T CARE ONE LITTLE BIT.
Instead of working out do you know what I did??? I curled my hair - curled my hair to try and take the edge off.
YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. I skulked into my room, turned on my flat iron and started curling away.
You may remember that I have this hair goal (unrealistic as it may be) and my hair has finally gotten long enough that I can curl it. Tonight was my first attempt - it wasn't great, but it took my mind off things for a while. I did try to take a picture of it to post - but that didn't go well and ended up depressing me even more.
I throw a really good pity party.
Anyway, I am going to consider the action of lifting the flat iron to my head, winding my hair around it and holding it there strength training for my arms.
Yeah, that sounds good - tonight I worked my arms instead of going to the pool.
NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE SPIN DOCTORING, RIGHT!
I REALLY hope tomorrow is a better day. I need it to be a better day. McDonald's can't feel like the solution again tomorrow! I don't have the willpower to deal with it again!