I have been struggling emotionally this last week - it hasn't spilled over into emotional eating - but, I feel like if I don't figure out what is going on, it could. I have felt frustrated with my job, frustrated with finances, frustrated with housekeeping. I want more free time, more time to focus on my kids, more time to focus on myself. But most of all, I feel frustrated that two months of hard work to lose what is now 35.6 lbs. is hardly noticeable.
Today I took my daughters to buy junior bridesmaids dresses - my niece is getting married and the girls are in the wedding. We are all thrilled for my niece and my daughters are over the moon to be junior bridesmaids. They are so, so, so excited. Of course, going to pick out dresses in a bridal shop means lots and lots of mirrors. As I looked at myself in those mirrors, I felt very discouraged. What I saw was a woman who still has so much weight to lose. And then I felt overwhelmed by it all. Here I was at a very happy occasion with my niece who is so excited, and my daughters who had looked forward to picking their dresses for 3 weeks - and all I could think about was myself and how bad I looked....and that made me feel worst of all.
I wish I could pinpoint what really started me down this path this week - but I can't. Nothing has gone wrong, nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Yet, here I am feeling emotional, and frustrated and overwhelmed.
I really hope next week brings happier thoughts and feelings. I really do.
Alright, enough of my pity party. Today was my weigh in. I felt really good going into it. I had been spot on this entire week - always within my calorie range, usually on the lower end. When I got ready to weigh, I felt pretty confident I was going to see a loss...and so I did.
Today I weighed in at 394.4 - a 4.2 lbs. loss from last week.
I am thrilled the scale continues to go down each week....but I'll be honest, I felt disappointed by the results today. I think maybe too much Biggest Loser this week, causing totally unrealistic expectations of weight loss. I need to remember that losing double digits each week is not realistic and not something I should be targeting.
One change I did make this week - a change I SWORE wouldn't happen, was switching to the Sara Lee Delightful 45 calorie bread. I love really hearty bread - but I just cannot justify 120 calories per slice when there is a lower calorie option out there that isn't completely horrible. I'm sure I will occassionally eat my Great Grains multi-grain bread with flax seed - but for the most part I think I will be sticking with Sara Lee. It really isn't that bad - especially if it is toasted.
Well, that's my story this week...it was an emotional one, and I need to figure out why...but I am still on track. And even though it feels rough right now - I know it will feel worse if I give up.
So I won't.