I'm back from the edge of insanity, and in recovery from my carb overload on Monday.
I knew that I had kind of lost it when my husband told me that one of his friends saw my blog post and called him to make sure that I was OK.
Yep...I can get just a little crazy.
But you know, this is really important to me! I really want to be successful and get healthy! For whatever reason on Monday it just felt like everything was falling apart - and sadly, it was exactly what I was expecting to happen!
I have avoided talking actual weight lately - I don't know why, I just have - I'm not ashamed of my weight...I hate it when people are!!! It is a part of me! Yes, a part I want to change, but a part of me nonetheless and feeling ashamed of it is actually counterproductive - so I don't. I like my curves! I just want them to be smaller!!!
So, here is the thing...I am at 402.2 lbs. right now. I can see Three Street!!! I can smell it - I want to get there so badly! this is a major milestone for me! Bidding farewell to the four hundreds..."see ya, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!!!"...I'm ready. BUT, I have been at this point before - I have been this close before - in fact exactly one year ago at this time I was right where I am now...and you know what, I failed. I back slid. I didn't hit the milestone AND I gave up.
I'm terrified of it happening again.
So, on Monday when I felt all sick and bloated and gross from eating a carb laden dinner, well, I was convinced it was the beginning of the end.
Tuesday I was a rock star. I was right back on track. I decided to try to ease up on breads, rice, etc. all around - not give it up, but pay closer attention and limit it somewhat - just try to get better control.
Today has been the same. Doing well, choosing less carbs and driving forward.
I don't know if I will hit Three Street this week - I hope so - but if I don't, I will keep trying!!
On another note, I am THRILLED to report that I have actively logged my food intake EVERY. EFFING. SINGLE. DAY since January 28, 2013!!! That is a major milestone unto itself and I am damn proud of it! It has made a huge difference in my focus, my control, and my success.