Tuesday, February 7, 2012

SCARED

Tomorrow is my first weigh in. I am nervous. Really nervous. I want so much to be successful on this journey...I NEED to be successful. Tonight I am committing that no matter what the scale says, I will move forward. I can't let myself be discouraged and defeated. I am hoping for the best, but honestly, I am planning for the worst.

Today was a good day - much better than yesterday. I met an old friend for lunch at Panda Express. I am proud to say I chose wisely - Steamed Rice w/ String Bean Chicken Breast - it was great and I felt satisfied. Satisfied that I had a great lunch with a good friend, made good choices and stuck to my plan.

Dinner was fantastic! I made Chicken Italian Sausage (thank you sam's club for this fantastic treasure) with zuchinni and mushrooms tossed with pasta, a little olive oil and parmesan cheese. To. Die. For. Dessert was a slice of chocolate cake (a cake mix mixed with pumpkin puree and baked) with bananas and lite cool whip. FANTASTIC. When I make food that tastes this good AND is health, I wonder why the hell I ever choose to eat crap!!

So, even though I am really trying to focus on taking things day by day, at times I can't help thinking about the enormity of the task in front of me - losing 265 lbs. seems daunting, and at times impossible. In light of my weigh in tomorrow, this was on my mind tonight - a lot. I felt like I needed some inspiration, so I googled "lost more than 250 lbs." and found a couple of good stories:

  • Susan Blech lost nearly 300 lbs without surgery (that is key to me as I have no intention of having surgery to lose weight)
  • Kathy Halderman lost 250 lbs without surgery. I nearly cried as I read her story.
I also love the website www.runsforcookies.com. Katie lost 125 lbs. Her website is what inspired me to get back on track. I read her posts everyday and I am so grateful for how real she is about the journey.

I'm going to bed feeling good. Satisfied. Inspired. And yes, still a little scared for what tomorrow morning will bring.

3 comments:

  1. I read Susan Blech's memoir, "Confessions of a Carb Queen" a few months after I started to lose weight. I laughed so hard it hurt, but I also sobbed hysterically, seeing so much of myself in her story. This journey is incredibly difficult, but amazingly worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for reading, Connie!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Katie, Thank You for sharing your story. It really is inspiring, and I am not kidding when I say it was the final push I needed to get myself on track AND get working out. I am still not running - I think I may be a ways out from that - but I hope one day to be able to shout from the rooftops that I ran a 1/2 marathon!

    ReplyDelete

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND! DON'T BE SHY! I LOVE COMMENTS!